A popular topless revue, “X Rocks,” is making a comeback and we in no way intended that to be a double entendre, despite the fact we’re going to give you a second to read this sentence again. Please grow up.
“X Rocks” is from the same folks, Stabile Productions, as “X Burlesque” at Flamingo and “X Country” at Harrah’s, all reliably excellent.
The formula is simple, tried and true: Young, fit women. Music. Choreography. Costumes. Boobs. (Note: Everything before “boobs” is sort of optional.)
Shows in the “X” family have the formula down, and these shows sit somewhere between the glossy “Fantasy” at Luxor and a strip club.
The dancers tend to seem more real and approachable than in other shows and the venues are more intimate. (Inside showball: The deal with Horseshoe is what’s called a “four wall,” meaning the show pays rent to Caesars Entertainment for use of the space.)
“X Rocks” had a run at Rio that started back in Sep. 2013. There’s a nearly 100% chance none of the dancers in the show in 2013 are in the new version. That’s just how Vegas and the world work. This doesn’t just apply to topless revues. Why do you think the cast of “Jabbawockeez” wear masks? It’s so dancers can be seamlessly swapped out when they hit their expiration date.
“X Rocks” was also at Bally’s (now Horseshoe), but was shown the door when Caesars Entertainment pulled the plug on a number of its mid-tier entertainment spaces.
“X Rocks” will play in the Imagine Theater at Horseshoe, which we didn’t know exists. Come to find out, they changed the name of the Windows Showroom to The Magic Attic to Imagine Theater without letting us know. Rude.
The biggest difference between the various “X” shows is the music, obviously. “X Country” has a country theme, “X Rocks” features rock music and “X Burlesque” has a mix of rock, country and R&B.
As mentioned, though, who cares? The music, costumes and choreography are mostly there so guys can bring their wives and girlfriends. Costumes and choreography are what women believe men want to see in a topless revue. It’s adorable.
Here’s a description of “X Rocks” from the news release: “‘X Rocks’ has exactly what it takes to turn the party up. Set in an intimate, cabaret-like environment, the 70-minute female revue allows for distinctive, close proximity to the guests, as this titillating burlesque show treats the audience to high-energy performance to some of rock’s most popular songs, including ‘Still of the Night’ by Whitesnake, ‘Welcome to My Nightmare’ by Alice Cooper, and ‘Wildside’ by Motley Crue.”
We, personally, are not a rock person, so attending a show with this music would be akin to jumping into the Arctic Ocean while watching members of the Rolling Stones get sponge baths.
Ditto country, but thankfully, the “X” shows have something for everyone.
We are pleased to see “X Country” says very clearly it’s a “female revue.” The whole revue thing has gotten muddier recently. Example: “Rouge” at The Strat. It should be sexy, but it’s just awkward, because there are both scantily-clad men and women in it. Never before have so many penises and lady parts been so confused.
Again, to each their own, and we aren’t just saying that to avoid being canceled.
There is comfort in the knowledge “X Rocks” is going to be exactly what you expect it to be. Perky, sassy, empowered eye candy, the way Mother Nature intended!
Yes, one can be a feminist and appreciate topless revues, in case you wondered. When you write a Las Vegas blog, it’s required.
“X Rocks” runs Wednesday through Saturday at 9:30 p.m., tickets start at a paltry $49.
Learn more about all the shows in the Stabile stable on the official Web site.
