{"id":347336,"date":"2025-08-26T18:17:01","date_gmt":"2025-08-26T23:17:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/2025\/08\/26\/breakfast-sandwich-place-we-arent-mentioning-in-this-headline-to-open-at-rio\/"},"modified":"2025-08-26T18:17:01","modified_gmt":"2025-08-26T23:17:01","slug":"breakfast-sandwich-place-we-arent-mentioning-in-this-headline-to-open-at-rio","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/2025\/08\/26\/breakfast-sandwich-place-we-arent-mentioning-in-this-headline-to-open-at-rio\/","title":{"rendered":"Breakfast Sandwich Place We Aren’t Mentioning in This Headline to Open at Rio"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\n \"Scott <\/a>\n <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

A bafflingly popular restaurant at Cosmo is expanding to Rio.<\/p>\n

We are putting off mentioning the name of the place for as long as possible because we hate it. The name. And we also don\u2019t love the food. But Eggslut often has long lines at Cosmo, so somebody must enjoy it.<\/p>\n

Yeah, it\u2019s called Eggslut. Sorry, Mom. Vulgarity is the last refuge of the unimaginative. It\u2019s opening at Rio in late 2025.<\/p>\n

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Alternatively, just wait until lunch when real food is available.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Eggslut will move into the Pho Da Nang Vietnamese Kitchen space at Rio, which is awkward, because we don\u2019t recall Pho Da Nang Vietnamese Kitchen closing, but the much-overlooked 3.0-star restaurant must have shuttered at some point. The Yelp reviews stopped in 2023.<\/p>\n

Anyway, bygones.<\/p>\n

Anything new at Rio is great because the place is struggling mightily despite some recent renovations and enhancements, almost all of which we love, including America\u2019s greatest casino carpet.<\/p>\n

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Plaza\u2019s carpet is a close second, with Slots-A-Fun in third.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Here are some perfunctory words from the news release: \u201cHatched in Los Angeles in 2011, Eggslut is a gourmet food concept inspired by a love for eggs. The menu features sandwiches and specialty bites that give a fresh twist to classic comfort foods while showcasing the restaurant\u2019s star ingredient. Eggslut at Rio will be the brand\u2019s first off-Strip location in Las Vegas, providing locals and visitors with direct and easy access to the popular breakfast spot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGourmet food\u201d is being used very loosely in this context, although, we fully admit being biased as breakfast is weird and should be banned based purely upon the fact eggs have the same consistency and flavor profile as pandemic phlegm.<\/p>\n

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\u201cDo chickens lay eggs out of their butts?\u201d was not on our ChatGPT bingo card for 2025, yet here we are. Chickens (and most birds) have a single opening called the \u201ccloaca.\u201d It\u2019s the shared exit for poop, urine and eggs.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It has come to our attention that our content\u2019s tone has become a little \u201cnegative\u201d lately. We tend to agree.<\/p>\n

We think of ourself as even-handed and fair, but negativity just plays better (especially in social media).<\/p>\n

While describing something as akin to phlegm is negative, we also said we love all the changes at Rio. You skimmed right over that, though.<\/p>\n

Negativity is not only more popular than positivity, it\u2019s also funnier. This is a humor blog about Las Vegas.<\/p>\n

Straight news is boring. Just try reading the Las Vegas Review-Journal. It\u2019s white noise.<\/p>\n

We are giving a lot of thought to the feedback about negativity, though. We just wanted to keep you in the loop. We say nice things about things we like and make jokes about things we don\u2019t like.<\/p>\n

In our mind, we wouldn\u2019t have spent the last decade writing about Las Vegas if we didn\u2019t love it. But social media has sort of ruined everything. And it\u2019s also made things more awesome, especially for humorists.<\/p>\n

If you guessed this bit of introspection is to fluff up this story, you have a keen eye for bullshit and you are the person for whom we are doing this blog in the first place.<\/p>\n

Anyway, Rio is getting Eggslut. Is it going to move the needle for Rio? No. Is Rio going to move the needle for Eggslut? No.<\/p>\n

Eggslut will provide the weirdos who wake up before noon a place to grab some breakfast not far from Rio\u2019s check-in desk, and far be it from us to yuck anyone\u2019s yum.<\/p>\n

We will make an effort to lean into the yums more than the yucks moving forward. The haters will continue to hate, of course. Honestly, they can shove it up their cloacae.<\/p>\n

And now you know the plural of \u201ccloaca.\u201d Good luck finding anything that useful in the Las Vegas Review-Journal.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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