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When I\u00a0tell my friend that I\u2019m writing a\u00a0piece on cinema dates, he gives me a\u00a0sideways look. \u200b\u201c<\/span>They\u2019re a\u00a0good third date,\u201d offers another. Associated with awkward firsts and emotional disconnect, the cinema date is considered by some to be a\u00a0romantic faux pas \u2013 it\u2019s what you do when you don\u2019t know what to do. Common complaints include it\u2019s too dark and you can\u2019t talk. The screen might be a\u00a0welcome distraction if the date\u2019s going badly, but if it\u2019s going well, the film may just as easily be an aid, with jokes and jumpscares becoming opportunities to edge closer. A\u00a0teenage story from my partner echoes this sentiment: \u200b\u201c<\/span>I once missed so much of a\u00a0film snogging that I\u00a0went to watch it by myself the next day. I\u00a0did want to see it, after\u00a0all.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n In the dark of the cinema screen, romantic incompatibility can become particularly obvious. Travis Bickle horrifies his date, Betsy, when he takes her to a\u00a0porn theatre in\u00a0<\/span>Taxi Driver<\/i>. \u200b\u201c<\/span>You\u2019ve got to be kidding \u2013 this is a\u00a0dirty movie,\u201d she exclaims. She leaves early into the film, leaving Travis to walk back into the night alone. There\u2019s two cinema dates in\u00a0<\/span>(500<\/span>) Days of Summer<\/i>: the first a\u00a0spontaneous, puppy-love decision, the second a\u00a0late-stage harbinger of a\u00a0waning relationship. Summer suggests seeing\u00a0<\/span>The Graduate<\/i>, a\u00a0film that shaped Tom\u2019s outlook on love through \u200b\u201c<\/span>a total misreading\u201d of it. We see their faces as the iconic ending plays: Benjamin and Elaine on a\u00a0bus, having escaped her wedding, realising their uncertain futures. Tom is unfazed; Summer is struck. The light from the screen illuminates her tears. The difference in response is obvious, and hints at a\u00a0relationship that is ultimately irreconcilable, confirmed by Tom when he asks, a\u00a0little oblivious, \u200b\u201c<\/span>What is it \u2013 the\u00a0movie?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n In these instances, the cinema setting enhances the romantic and filmic misreadings that take place. When Betsy runs into her cab, Travis is left in the wanton green glow of the porn theatre. Travis and Tom are both, whether physical or metaphorical, left in a\u00a0kind of fog:\u00a0<\/span>how could she?\u00a0<\/i>The cinema date isn\u2019t a\u00a0first choice, maybe, because going into the dark doesn\u2019t help when things are already uncertain. First dates necessitate an environment that is uncertain by design. What happens, the uncertain lover might ask themselves, if I\u00a0like the film, but my date doesn\u2019t? What if I\u00a0like the film more than the person?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Despite the what-ifs, the cinema date persists. I\u00a0know a\u00a0few couples that swear by the BFI<\/span>, ordering their tickets in-person to keep mementos of their dates. Last summer, I\u00a0wandered into a\u00a0pub on a\u00a0single-street village and spoke to an older local about his first ever date: going to see\u00a0<\/span>Grease\u00a0<\/i>with a\u00a0classmate at fifteen. For him, the cinema date was a\u00a0no-brainer. It was the pictures. It was what every teenager did. It was all you could do. While his memory of the romance and the girl faded, he remembers the ending clear as\u00a0day.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n So the cinema date still offers us something \u2013 but what? How do people build a\u00a0connection when they can\u2019t talk to each other? I\u00a0knew I\u00a0felt a\u00a0certain way about my partner when sitting in the front row for a\u00a0Yorgos Lanthimos film made us\u00a0<\/span>more\u00a0<\/i>excited by the prospect of being closer to each other. Watching someone enjoy something you enjoy, affirm a\u00a0feeling you\u2019re feeling, stimulates in a\u00a0different way. All those aspects of the cinema date that some might consider constricting \u2013 the embryonic dark, the sticky floors, the silent audience \u2013 allow for an alternative means of connection, ideal for ascertaining the depth of your connection to someone. In the absence of a\u00a0conversation, another kind of romantic language takes over. The affective conditions of the cinema take us somewhere preverbal.<\/span><\/p>\n In her essay \u200b\u2018<\/span>The Cinema\u2019, Virginia Woolf suggests the existence of a\u00a0preverbal, primitive quality to the cinema experience, \u200b\u201c<\/span>some unknown and unexpected beauty\u201d lying underneath the technical spectacle. When we go to the cinema to see something we\u2019ve never seen before, we\u2019re opening ourselves up to the possibility of being moved by something entirely unknown. In this way, the cinema makes magic of uncertainty. The cinema date simply introduces another unpredictable valence into the mix: a\u00a0romantic connection that has yet to be tested.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\nGet more Little White\u00a0Lies<\/h3>\n<\/p><\/div>\n