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Mass shootings have effects on communities that are felt long after the day\u2019s tragedy. School shootings in particular can have physical, emotional and behavioral effects on kids.<\/p>\n
Many health experts, including psychologists and grief counselors, remind people there are resources to support students\u2019 mental and emotional health as they grieve and process.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s how they say families should address traumatic experiences<\/a> with their kids.<\/p>\n It takes time to process emotions, regardless of age, so adults should start by taking care of themselves. That said, experts encourage parents to have conversations with their children and not avoid the topic, if kids indicate a willingness to talk about it.<\/p>\n \u201cIf they are not hearing about it from you as their parent, they will hear about it from their friends at school,\u201d says Emilie Ney, director of professional development at the National Association of School Psychologists.<\/p>\n It\u2019s OK for caregivers to say they don\u2019t have all the answers and not force the conversation, according to guidance from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network. Being available and patient is key. For instance, she said, adults who work in before-school or after-school programs should ask the kids in their care open-ended questions, do community-building activities or provide kids with other opportunities to share openly. They may not have the opportunity to do so otherwise.<\/p>\n How much children are able to understand a situation will depend on their age and development, Ney said.<\/p>\n \u201cThere is no specific age target for these conversations,\u201d said Garrant, who has a 9-year-old daughter. \u201cBut make sure that younger children understand the word that you\u2019re using. When we say safety, what does it mean to feel safe? How does it feel in your body? What does it sound like when you\u2019re not safe?\u201d Younger children need simple information and reassurances their schools and homes are safe, guidance from the National Association of School Psychologists notes. Older children have a deeper capacity for understanding and could benefit from hearing about what agency they might have to keep themselves safe.<\/p>\n Recognizing, acknowledging and validating children\u2019s emotions are key, said Beverly Warnock, executive director of the National Organization of Parents of Murdered Children based in Cincinnati. \u201cThe stages of grief are not necessarily sequential. People may go in and out of the various different phases, and it may be that it doesn\u2019t really hit someone until a week later,\u201d Ney said. \u201cEven if you didn\u2019t know anyone involved, even if they were very far away from you, it is okay to grieve,\u201d Ney said. \u201cIt shows that you care about others.\u201d<\/p>\n After acknowledging the emotional response, Warnock said, there is comfort in knowing life goes on. If you or someone you know are experiencing distress because of a mass shooting, you can call the 24\/7 National Disaster Distress Helpline. The number is 1-800-985-5990, and Spanish speakers can press \u201c2\u201d for bilingual support. To connect directly to a crisis counselor in American Sign Language, call 1-800-985-5990 from your videophone.<\/p>\n<\/div>\nDon\u2019t avoid the conversation<\/h2>\n
This isn\u2019t just a job for parents and guardians. All adults should remember to be available for the kids in their life. After all, not all children have trusted adults they can speak with, said Crystal Garrant, chief program officer at Sandy Hook Promise, a nonprofit group that works to prevent suicides and mass shootings.<\/p>\nTailor the talk to the child\u2019s age<\/h2>\n
Some children may have emotional and behavioral responses to traumatic events, such as anxiety, nightmares or difficulty concentrating.<\/p>\nValidate big feelings about school shootings<\/h2>\n
\u201cYou need to get those feelings out and be honest,\u201d she said. \u201cDon\u2019t try to squash the feelings or not talk about it. It\u2019s something that will be with you for the rest of your life.\u201d
The process of navigating emotions after a shooting can be confusing and frustrating for people, Ney said.<\/p>\n
Psychologists hope to reassure people their feelings are normal and they don\u2019t have to pretend they are unaffected.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou will find a coping skill, and you will be able to enjoy life again,\u201d she said. \u201cYou may not feel that way now, but it does happen. It\u2019s just going to take some time.\u201d<\/p>\nIf you need more help<\/h2>\n
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