Two years later, their mother enrolled them in Comfort Zone Camp<\/a>, a nonprofit bereavement camp for children who have lost a loved one. The organization offers weekend camps for children impacted by all types of loss, including some, like the one the Aquilinos attended, specifically designed for kids who\u2019ve impacted by suicide.\u00a0<\/p>\n The sisters had attended other grief camps that didn\u2019t work for them so they were skeptical about their first weekend at Comfort Zone, located about two hours away from their hometown of Marlton, New Jersey.<\/p>\n Grief and death are often considered taboo topics, especially when it involves a suicide or homicide, according to research published in the journal Sociology of Health and Illness<\/em><\/a>. Bereavement for these kinds of deaths is more isolating, as many people, especially those not directly impacted, are uncomfortable talking about the circumstances surrounding the death, or even the person who died.<\/p>\n The Aquilino sisters refrained from talking about their grief and emotions until they attended camp and found themselves surrounded by others with shared experiences.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t like people. I was scared of meeting new people. But as time went on and I learned about other kids with my same story, and I even met adults who had gone through the same thing, it was eye-opening to see that I was not alone in this journey,\u201d Addison tells Fortune<\/em>.<\/p>\n The sisters, now 18 and 19, have returned to Comfort Zone every year since 2016, and consider their fellow campers and the volunteers family.<\/p>\n \u201cI made friends who I still talk to every single day.\u201d Addison says.<\/p>\n \u201cThe people from camp are like immediate family. We\u2019re connected in a deeper way.\u201d<\/p>\n Jocelyn and Addison Aquilino<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Bereavement camps have been around since the 1980s, but grew in popularity in the 1990s and early 2000s. Since the COVID-19 pandemic, the demand for grief camps has increased.<\/p>\n Some camp waitlists have grown<\/a> as much as 100% since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, as approximately 43,000 American children experienced a death of a parent due to Covid, according to JAMA<\/em><\/a>. Experts say the pandemic also has increased the number of deaths from other causes, like opioid misuse and diabetes.\u00a0<\/p>\n About six million <\/a>children in the U.S. will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18.\u00a0<\/p>\n In the book Bereavement Camps for Children and Adolescents<\/em><\/a>, researchers suggest that bereavement camps decrease traumatic grief and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms, including denial, irritability, and intense ongoing fear or sadness<\/a> in children after the loss of a parent.<\/p>\n Though there are different types of grief camps, they have similar goals of helping children process their grief while still allowing them to be kids.<\/p>\n \u201cGrief is certainly challenging as an adult, and can be a difficult concept for kids to grasp as it is a process to navigate without an end point,\u201d says Mary FitzGerald, CEO of Eluna<\/a>, an organization that supports children grieving or struggling with mental health issues.\u00a0<\/p>\n Eluna was cofounded in 2000 by former Major League Baseball pitcher Jamie Moyer and child advocate Karen Phelps Moyer. In 2002, Eluna created Camp Erin<\/a>, the largest free bereavement program for children and teens in the U.S. and Canada, with locations in every Major League Baseball city.<\/p>\n \u201cWe invite kids to express themselves as they learn it\u2019s okay to smile, laugh and just be a kid while grieving,\u201d FitzGerald says.<\/p>\n Children have a difficult time navigating heavy emotions<\/a> for a long period of time, which is why the camp is structured to provide fun activities alongside opportunities to process grief.<\/p>\n Comfort Zone Camp was founded in 1998 by Lynne Hughes, who hoped to give kids a place share their grief<\/a> free from the taboo associated with talking it.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cWe have this society that doesn\u2019t really talk about grief, so it\u2019s this closed-off subject, and they\u2019ve been conditioned to not bring it up because it makes other people uncomfortable,\u201d she tells Fortune<\/em>.<\/p>\n Hughes lost her mother unexpectedly when she was nine, and three years later, her dad died, too.<\/p>\n Hughes says even as a kid, she had to make sure others were comfortable with hearing about her loss, despite it being hers<\/em>. It was always something that felt uncomfortable to talk about, even if people said she could discuss it.<\/p>\n Hughes tried to live as normal of a childhood as possible, despite the circumstances, and did what many young girls do: she attended summer camp. From the time she was nine, Hughes was drawn to camp. She loved being a camper and interacting with the \u201ccool camp counselors,\u201d she says. As Hughes grew up, she chased the feeling of community and support she found at camp.<\/p>\n In college, she became a camp counselor at a co-ed summer camp in the Poconos\u2013\u2013where she met her husband\u2013\u2013and continued living the camp life into early adulthood.<\/p>\n Hughes and her husband contemplated what they would do \u201cwhen they grew up\u201d and often wished they could instead go back to camp, the place they met and that gave them a sense of community.<\/p>\n \u201cI was keenly aware there weren\u2019t any resources [to help with grief] when I was growing up, and many years later, there still weren\u2019t,\u201d says Hughes. \u201cSo I combined my love for camp with an unmet need in society, and Comfort Zone was born.\u201d<\/p>\n Comfort Zone has all the common camp elements, like s\u2019mores, swimming, a challenge course, kayaking, arts and crafts, singing, and a bonfire, says Hughes. But between those activities, campers are also given coping skills and time to reflect and share about their loved one and their grief, if they choose.<\/p>\n Comfort Zone Camp<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Licensed therapists lead what Comfort Zone calls healing circles, or small grief support groups. In healing circles, campers are given the opportunity to tell their story, or introduce their loved one with a photo or a memory.<\/p>\n Young campers, or \u201clittle buddies,\u201d and are paired with older, veteran campers, called \u201cbig buddies\u201d to help guide them through their experience and be someone they can lean on. Buddies are matched prior to camp based on personality, and will typically meet over the phone before getting to camp.\u00a0<\/p>\n Jocelyn had the same big buddy for five years.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cShe picks up whenever I call her. She texts me on the anniversary of my dad\u2019s loss. I know that even though I\u2019m not her little buddy anymore and I\u2019m an adult now, I still have this connection with her that I don\u2019t really have with anyone else,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n Campers also take part in a ceremony Comfort Zone calls Circle of Remembrance, where they write notes to their deceased loved ones and throw them in a bonfire.<\/p>\n \u201cWe talk about the smoke carrying the message to their loved one. Sometimes it\u2019s really emotional for the kids because in that safety of the fire and safety of this community that gets it, they\u2019re able to have that cry if they need to,\u201d says Hughes.<\/p>\n On the final day of camp, parents<\/a> come to pick up their children and everyone takes part in a memorial service, where campers honor their loved one. Some choose to sing their loved one\u2019s favorite song, or read a poem, or tell a deceased parent\u2019s favorite joke\u2013\u2013jokes that some younger campers may not fully understand, but the crowd of parents and older kids certainly do, says Hughes.<\/p>\n Hughes says many campers show up with an \u201cinvisible backpack full of rocks,\u201d like they\u2019re carrying around a heavy weight because \u201cgrief unexpressed doesn\u2019t go anywhere.\u201d After telling their stories and sharing what they feel comfortable with, Hughes says the difference within them is like night and day.<\/p>\n \u201cThey get lighter and brighter, almost like their backpack of rocks has dropped and been dumped out,\u201d Hughes says.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen they see their kids again [on the last day of camp], many parents are like, \u2018What did you do? This is the first time I\u2019ve seen a real smile.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Parents are also taught the strategies used at camp so they can reinforce at home and help their child continue their healing process. <\/p>\n \u201cThe real emotional stuff comes after camp, where you just need that time to decompress and go back into the real world, instead of this nice little grief bubble,\u201d says Addison.<\/p>\n Addison and Jocelyn Aquilino<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Sometimes the biggest feat for kids isn\u2019t even going to camp, but having to leave it, Hughes says.<\/p>\n \u201cWe end up explaining to parents that this is a place where everybody is kind and uplifting, and you almost have to prepare them for that let down of going back and interacting with the people who don\u2019t get it,\u201d Hughes says.\u00a0<\/p>\n Because of this, Hughes says they stress the importance of keeping a relationship with their buddies throughout the year, and remind campers they can always come back to camp.<\/p>\n This year was Jocelyn\u2019s first time being a big buddy, mentoring a new camper throughout the weekend.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was so fulfilling to finally be able to be that support person for someone, and meeting this little girl who has gone through so much but is still so excited to meet me and come to camp,\u201d Jocelyn says.<\/p>\n It\u2019s important for people of all ages, especially young children, to have people they feel comfortable enough to share their emotions and talk about their grief with, especially those who understand. For many kids, that happens at camp.<\/p>\n \u201cAs grief does not go away, children, like adults, will re-grieve over the course of their lives, so it\u2019s important to learn how to integrate grief into our lives and not avoid it,\u201d says FitzGerald.<\/p>\n \u201cMaking new friends and enjoying some fun at camp can help kids process their grief, and does not dishonor their person who died.\u201d<\/p>\n The Aquilinos say they have no plans to stop attending Comfort Zone, especially since they are able to volunteer at any age. To them, it\u2019s bigger than a camp.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s our special place. Once you\u2019re there, you are part of the family<\/a>. It\u2019s a forever type of thing,\u201d says Addison.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n![\"Two](\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/img-assets\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Jocelyn-Addison-at-NJ-Camp-2024-rotated.jpg?w=1440&q=75\"\/)
What is grief camp?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
What happens at grief camp?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
![\"Children](\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/img-assets\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Copy-of-IMG_2685.jpg?w=1440&q=75\"\/)
![\"Two](\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/img-assets\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Addison-and-Jocelyn-at-camp-rotated.jpeg?w=1440&q=75\"\/)
A \u2018special place\u2019 to not feel alone<\/strong><\/h2>\n