{"id":232469,"date":"2024-06-14T19:21:41","date_gmt":"2024-06-14T19:21:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/2024\/06\/14\/workplace-incivility-gaslighting-shaming-gossiping-are-on-the-rise\/"},"modified":"2025-06-25T17:17:03","modified_gmt":"2025-06-25T17:17:03","slug":"workplace-incivility-gaslighting-shaming-gossiping-are-on-the-rise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/2024\/06\/14\/workplace-incivility-gaslighting-shaming-gossiping-are-on-the-rise\/","title":{"rendered":"Workplace incivility: Gaslighting, shaming, gossiping are on the rise"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> [ad_1]<br \/>\n<br \/><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/img-assets\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/GettyImages-1499471032-e1718310781822.jpg?w=2048\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Angela had been in the media industry for over a decade when she began to notice dismissive behaviors from others at a new job. There was rudeness in meetings, gatekeeping of important information, ignoring her contributions in Slack room discussions, and <a href=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/article\/gaslighting-signs\/\" target=\"_self\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/article\/gaslighting-signs\/\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\" rel=\"noopener\">gaslighting<\/a> about it all, including from a series of managers. It eventually all took a toll.\u00a0<\/p>\n<div>\n<p>\u201cIt affected my self-esteem, big-time,\u201d Angela, who is being identified by her middle name for privacy,  tells <em>Fortune.<\/em> \u201c\u2018Rude\u2019 isn\u2019t a performance metric. Basic human communication is not a part of what was discussed or expected, but that\u2019s what we\u2019re talking about. To me it\u2019s about basic respect.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She frequently thought about leaving, but her job was a good one, and she was hesitant. Still, she says, \u201cI was boxed out \u2026 At what point do you throw in the towel?\u201d The behavior eventually got so bad that it sent her to therapy\u2014and, finally, out the door. Now, still shaken and questioning her skills as a result of the experience, she\u2019s seriously considering a career change, noting, \u201cIt was really bad for my psyche.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And she\u2019s far from alone. On <a href=\"https:\/\/www.glassdoor.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/www.glassdoor.com\/\" rel=\"noopener\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.glassdoor.com\/\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\">Glassdoor<\/a> discussion boards, there\u2019s an endless scroll of people talking about being treated poorly at work\u2014distrusting themselves because a boss questions every move, or facing aggression and gaslighting from coworkers to the point of experiencing \u201ccrippling <a href=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2022\/10\/23\/the-sunday-scaries-are-real-heres-how-to-beat-the-dread-and-kickstart-your-week\/\" target=\"_self\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2022\/10\/23\/the-sunday-scaries-are-real-heres-how-to-beat-the-dread-and-kickstart-your-week\/\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\" rel=\"noopener\">dread<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2023\/05\/15\/google-executive-who-struggled-with-anxiety-and-depression\/\" target=\"_self\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2023\/05\/15\/google-executive-who-struggled-with-anxiety-and-depression\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2023\/05\/15\/google-executive-who-struggled-with-anxiety-and-depression\/\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\" rel=\"noopener\">anxiety<\/a>\u201d and even \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2023\/09\/15\/mdma-ecstasy-reduce-ptsd-symptoms\/\" target=\"_self\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2023\/09\/15\/mdma-ecstasy-reduce-ptsd-symptoms\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2023\/09\/15\/mdma-ecstasy-reduce-ptsd-symptoms\/\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\" rel=\"noopener\">PTSD<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s all part of what human resource experts see as a rise in what\u2019s called workplace incivility\u2014behavior that is inconsiderate or rude that \u201cviolates social norms for workplace behavior and that leads to negative effects for the employee as well as the organization,\u201d according to <a href=\"https:\/\/activatesuccess.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/activatesuccess.org\/\" rel=\"noopener\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/activatesuccess.org\/\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\">John O\u2019Brien<\/a>, a psychologist and executive coach with a forthcoming book on the topic.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s unlike bullying, which is more easily identifiable and \u201cmuch more often intentional, usually with a specific target, and meant to intimidate someone so that the bully can have some certain outcome,\u201d O\u2019Brien explains. And it could be an element of \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/2024\/04\/23\/employees-using-vacation-sick-days-to-avoid-toxic-workplace\/\" target=\"_self\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/fortune.com\/2024\/04\/23\/employees-using-vacation-sick-days-to-avoid-toxic-workplace\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/2024\/04\/23\/employees-using-vacation-sick-days-to-avoid-toxic-workplace\/\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\" rel=\"noopener\">toxicity<\/a>,\u201d which is more of a catchall about <a href=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2024\/03\/25\/most-stressed-states-in-america-2024\/\" target=\"_self\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2024\/03\/25\/most-stressed-states-in-america-2024\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2024\/03\/25\/most-stressed-states-in-america-2024\/\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\" rel=\"noopener\">high-stress <\/a>environments. But incivility, he says, is more often, though not always, unintentional. It\u2019s a collection of \u201cstress-related behaviors that emerge spontaneously and may be seemingly inconsequential, such as eye-rolling,\u201d and which feeling upset over might be brushed off by others as \u201coverreacting.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>A March 2024 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shrm.org\/content\/dam\/en\/shrm\/topics-tools\/topics\/civility\/SHRM-Civility-Index-Infographic.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/www.shrm.org\/content\/dam\/en\/shrm\/topics-tools\/topics\/civility\/SHRM-Civility-Index-Infographic.pdf\" rel=\"noopener\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\">survey<\/a> of over 1,600 U.S. employees by the membership-based <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shrm.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/www.shrm.org\/\" rel=\"noopener\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.shrm.org\/\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\">Society for Human Resource Management<\/a> found that 66% had experienced or witnessed incivility at work within the past month, while 57% had experienced or witnessed such behavior within the past week\u2014with the most common forms of incivility being addressing others disrespectfully (36%), interrupting others who are speaking (34%), and excessive micromanaging (32%).\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>It also found only 25% believe their managers are effective at handling incivility when it rears its ugly head.<\/p>\n<p>Further, a <a href=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2022\/11\/frontline-work-when-everyone-is-angry\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/hbr.org\/2022\/11\/frontline-work-when-everyone-is-angry\" rel=\"noopener\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2022\/11\/frontline-work-when-everyone-is-angry\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\">2022 survey<\/a> of 2,000 global workers by Georgetown University professor of management Christine Porath found that 76% and 78% of respondents, respectively, experience or witness incivility at least once a month, while 78% believe that bad behavior from customers toward employees is more common than it was five years ago.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere is such an increase,\u201d <a href=\"https:\/\/www1.villanova.edu\/university\/business\/faculty-and-research\/faculty-by-department\/biodetail.html?mail=joyce.russell@villanova.edu&amp;xsl=bio_long\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/www1.villanova.edu\/university\/business\/faculty-and-research\/faculty-by-department\/biodetail.html?mail=joyce.russell@villanova.edu&amp;xsl=bio_long\" rel=\"noopener\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www1.villanova.edu\/university\/business\/faculty-and-research\/faculty-by-department\/biodetail.html?mail=joyce.russell@villanova.edu&amp;xsl=bio_long\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\">Joyce Russell<\/a>, an executive coach and Dean Emeritus and Professor of Management at the Villanova School of Business, tells <em>Fortune.<\/em> \u201cI hear this from a lot of people.\u201d When she offered a monthly chat to leaders on the topic recently, she says, \u201cthey jumped on the call and just had example after example.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Among them: People ignoring others, sending \u201cnot nice\u201d emails to an employee and copying everybody, spreading rumors, gossiping, eye rolling in meetings, taking credit for the work of others, and being quick to assign blame and never taking responsibility for problems. \u201cThey\u2019re behaviors that have always existed,\u201d Russell says, \u201cbut people feel like they\u2019re more acceptable now.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Why is this happening?<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>O\u2019Brien, who has also noticed the rise and believes it mirrors the increasing lack of incivility in society at large, attributes it to a number of factors, including that most ubiquitous of culprits: social media.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe more impersonal ways of communicating I think is part of it,\u201d he says, though there\u2019s more to it, as well. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cStress levels in society have risen and, even prior to the pandemic, levels of depression and anxiety were rising, and I think that has contributed to it,\u201d he says. \u201cPlus the political landscape and cycle that we are in right now\u2014of people getting rewarded for negative behaviors at the national level.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Then there are America\u2019s deep political divisions, the fact that many of us have not yet readjusted to coming together in person, and leftover stress from the pandemic. \u201cPeople don\u2019t know where to put that,\u201d he says, \u201cand if there\u2019s not a lot of emotional intelligence, it comes leaking out in certain ways.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>While \u201cblatant bullying\u201d is easier to be aware of, point out, and report, says Russell, \u201csmaller signs of disrespect that people are giving each other\u201d are a little harder to pinpoint.<\/p>\n<p>She stresses, though, that such behaviors almost always come from the top down\u2014whether leaders are behaving unethically themselves or simply failing to take action against others who do, thereby condoning it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe see this at the highest levels, even from the previous Administration,\u201d she says. \u201cPeople always look to the leaders, even in firms\u2026 If they\u2019re not taking action, then other people think, well, it\u2019s OK. You see a difference in companies where leaders take action or demonstrate better behaviors.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Effects\u2014and solutions<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>When subject to uncivil behaviors, whether by coworkers, leaders, or customers\/patients, O\u2019Brien says, \u201cPeople\u2019s stress levels rise, so they find themselves more tense, irritable, and maybe more reactive.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>It can also exacerbate mental health issues, he adds, explaining that for people already at risk of <a href=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2024\/05\/14\/poor-mental-health-anxiety-depression-lost-time-years-decades-survey\/\" target=\"_self\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2024\/05\/14\/poor-mental-health-anxiety-depression-lost-time-years-decades-survey\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/2024\/05\/14\/poor-mental-health-anxiety-depression-lost-time-years-decades-survey\/\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\" rel=\"noopener\">depression and anxiety<\/a>, dealing with workplace incivility \u201ccan sometimes be one of the major stressors that triggers a level that may need medical attention.\u201d Plus, quality of work will typically suffer, from standpoints of both productivity and engagement. \u201cMany wind up losing time at work ruminating about the incident,\u201d says O\u2019Brien, who adds that often, those who get treated poorly in turn treat others that way\u2014so the fallout is both \u201cindividual and systemic.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Also huge, says Russell, is how workplace incivility impacts morale\u2014and how it continues the buildup of stress very likely still lingering from pandemic times. \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/article\/covid-cause-new-health-problems-years-after-infection\/\" target=\"_self\" aria-label=\"Go to https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/article\/covid-cause-new-health-problems-years-after-infection\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/article\/covid-cause-new-health-problems-years-after-infection\/\" class=\"sc-80b85506-0 ovBKL\" rel=\"noopener\">COVID<\/a> was such an impactful experience, and I don\u2019t know that we allowed people the time to recuperate from that \u2026 People feel overworked and tired, and they just got right back into the race.\u201d Feeling abused on top of it all, she says, \u201ccan mean people not wanting to be as loyal or committed\u201d to a workplace.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>So what\u2019s a fed-up employee to do?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>O\u2019Brien suggests people start by trying immediate, direct options, such as having a conversation with the person who has been uncivil. It could also be helpful to consider that the offender may have been so unintentionally.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOne classic example is someone who is interrupting others in meetings,\u201d he says. \u201dYou may assume they don\u2019t respect your opinion, but in fact there may be something else completely going on. They may have trouble with impulse control.\u201d Sometimes, he suggests, talking through what happened with a boss or a mentor or a peer can help in figuring out how to approach the situation.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEven talking to friends outside of the organization,\u201d O\u2019Brien suggests. \u201cAnd if it starts to rise to a level of more significant distress, getting into therapy or seeking out a coach.\u201d Through those discussions, he says, it will be helpful to think about whether or not incivility is the norm at your company. \u201cIf that\u2019s the norm, then maybe they have to find a different work environment,\u201d he says. \u201cBut that\u2019s the exception as opposed to the rule.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>For leaders, Russell says that bringing in a mediator to help with difficult situations could be \u201ca really good solution, because you\u2019re getting people to try to work together.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>And in general, she adds, \u201cI don\u2019t think people have good skills with conflict management.\u201d It\u2019s why an outsider could be helpful. But doing more in organizations to properly train leaders to manage and understand conflict can go a long way in battling incivility, she stresses\u2014as can establishing codes of conduct, which she calls \u201ccritical.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt all sounds like common sense, but people have gotten away from behaving the way they need to,\u201d Russell says. \u201cAnd it starts with the leader who can set the right tone and establish guidelines.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>More on workplace well-being:<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>[ad_2]<br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/fortune.com\/well\/article\/workplace-incivility-gaslighting-gossip-disrespect\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[ad_1] Angela had been in the media industry for over a decade when she began to notice dismissive behaviors from others at a new job.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":232470,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[149],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/232469"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=232469"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/232469\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/232470"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=232469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=232469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=232469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}