{"id":225686,"date":"2024-05-30T01:18:53","date_gmt":"2024-05-30T01:18:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/2024\/05\/30\/neonopolis-announces-300-million-never-ever-happening-project\/"},"modified":"2025-06-25T17:18:28","modified_gmt":"2025-06-25T17:18:28","slug":"neonopolis-announces-300-million-never-ever-happening-project","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michigandigitalnews.com\/index.php\/2024\/05\/30\/neonopolis-announces-300-million-never-ever-happening-project\/","title":{"rendered":"Neonopolis Announces $300 Million Never, Ever Happening Project"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\n By Scott Roeben<\/a>, on May 21 2024 <\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

When we think of Neonopolis, the quirky downtown shopping complex, one phrase springs to mind: \u201cEndlessly optimistic and relentlessly disappointing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Neonopolis recently announced yet another ambitious project that is absolutely never happening: A $300 million rooftop amusement park called \u201cMini Disni.\u201d<\/p>\n

Every part of that sentence is delightfully untethered from reality, but let\u2019s dive into the whimsy, shan\u2019t we?<\/p>\n

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This is exactly as realistic as the announced plans for Neonopolis.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Let\u2019s start with the most obvious bullshit (sorry, that\u2019s the legal term for it), the name. No venue will ever be called \u201cMini Disni.\u201d That\u2019s because Disney is known for being fiercely protective of its intellectual property, including numerous trademarks and copyrights.<\/p>\n

We trust Neonopolis got a cease-and-desist as the very first instance of \u201cMini Disni\u201d was being typed.<\/p>\n

Anyway, the naming issue is moot given the overall absurdity of this alleged project.<\/p>\n

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What happens when you dump Microsoft Paint images into a blender?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The proposed theme park will consist of five rides atop Neonopolis, including two rollercoasters, a zipline and an open-air skydiving simulator.<\/p>\n

Presumably, each component of the theme park will be operated by third parties.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s worth noting, one element of the project was already supposed to have happened, as we first shared back in 2022<\/a>. The outdoor skydiving attraction is associated with Crash N Burn, a new restaurant and bar at Neonopolis that opened with little fanfare on March 21, 2024. Crash N Burn is in the space previously used by Telemundo studios.<\/p>\n

Crash N Burn is a welcoming spot, but the venue opened with no sign of the skydiving part, called Aero Vegas, from a company called Aerodium. There was a model on display, however. Presumably, the outdoor skydiving attraction is set to open in fall 2024.<\/p>\n

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Walkthrough of Crash N Burn at Neonopolis mall, downtown. Great-looking venue, challenging location, no skydiving yet. pic.twitter.com\/FjSQ61svLM<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2014 Vital Vegas (@VitalVegas) March 22, 2024<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Crash N Burn has a slog ahead of it, as many venues in Neonopolis open and struggle. We hope Crash N Burn succeeds, as it was pretty ballsy calling it Crash N Burn, to be honest.<\/p>\n

Anyway, another part of the Neonopolis theme park will be a zipline.<\/p>\n

This \u201cneon monster\u201d zipline will presumably exist 50 feet from one of the most financially successful ziplines in the world, SlotZilla. We should know, we did the digital marketing for SlotZilla and helped it become one of the most financially successful ziplines in the world. Could a zipline at Neonopolis get some overflow business? Maybe. Does Neonopolis have any idea what it\u2019s getting into with a zipline? Absolutely not.<\/p>\n

From the wildly exciting Neonopolis video, it appears the zipline is going for a Godzilla vibe. Nobody would be so unoriginal as to create a Godzilla zipline next to a SlotZilla zipline, though, right?<\/p>\n

Good luck with that, Neonopolis.<\/p>\n

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SlotZilla owns the neighborhood, thrill ridewise.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

As for the roller coasters, the name \u201cPolercoaster\u201d may be familiar if you\u2019ve been watching Las Vegas as long as we have.<\/p>\n

A Polercoaster<\/a> was proposed for the Wet N Wild site (where All Net Resort also didn\u2019t come to fruition) back in, wait for it, 2013.<\/p>\n

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