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Dementia<\/a> is a thief. It robs people of their memories and decision-making abilities. Something as simple as writing a check or taking medication becomes difficult or impossible.<\/p>\n If one of your parents has dementia<\/a>, it\u2019s only a matter of time before they\u2019ll need help with almost every part of their daily life. \u201cThey\u2019re going to get to a point where they no longer have the capacity or the ability to sign documents, to understand what they\u2019re signing, and to handle their affairs,\u201d says Stuart H. Schoenfeld, an elder law attorney and partner at Capell Barnett Matalon & Schoenfeld<\/a> in New York City.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t assume that being the child will give you automatic control over your parent\u2019s financial and health care decisions. It won\u2019t. For that you\u2019ll need a power of attorney.<\/p>\n A survey from the Palliative and Advanced Illness Research Center<\/a> at PennMedicine finds that only one-third of Americans have a power of attorney in place. Without this document, you could find yourself in a costly, and stressful guardianship process.<\/p>\n A power of attorney<\/a> is a legal document your parent signs to allow you, another family member, or a friend to make financial and medical decisions for them when they can no longer make those decisions. Contrary to popular belief, a power of attorney isn\u2019t a person. The person who the power of attorney authorizes to make decisions is called the agent.<\/p>\n This document comes in three types:<\/p>\n To start the process, contact an elder care attorney. Often the financial and health care power of attorney come packaged as part of an estate plan that also includes a will and a living will, says Annabel Bazante<\/a>, an elder law attorney practicing in Elmont, NY. The typical cost for a financial and health care power of attorney is under $1,000, while the whole estate plan package runs around $2,000, she adds.<\/p>\n The first thing the lawyer will do is determine whether your parent has the mental capacity to appoint a power of attorney. \u201cOne of the main things they\u2019re looking for is, do they understand what they\u2019re doing? Do they understand the power they are bestowing?\u201d says Natali Edmonds, Psy.D., board-certified geropsychologist and founder of the dementia care consulting and support program, Dementia Careblazers<\/a> in Phoenix, AZ.<\/p>\n In other words, your parent must be cognitively aware enough to know what they\u2019re signing. She suggests having your parent sign the paperwork at a time of day when they\u2019re typically most alert.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t be surprised if the lawyer asks to talk to your parent privately. Your parent is the client, not you, stresses Bazante. The lawyer will want to make sure you\u2019re following your parent\u2019s wishes. \u201cEven if the child is well-intentioned, the parent may not want that child alone to have decision-making power,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not up to you to choose an agent. That decision falls on your parent.<\/p>\n For the financial power of attorney, the best option is someone who has an aptitude for money, suggests Kelly O\u2019Connor<\/a>, a certified senior advisor, certified dementia practitioner, and elder care consultant in Denver, CO.<\/p>\n While it\u2019s possible to manage finances from far away, she recommends that the health care agent be someone who lives close by, so they can go to medical appointments. Having only one person in the role will make the decision-making process much easier (and some states mandate it). \u201cBecause let\u2019s say there are three\u2014A, B, and C\u2014agents under the power of attorney. Agent A wants to continue medical treatment, B does not want to continue medical treatment, and C wants to ask their spouse and is indecisive\u2026 What does the medical professional do?\u201d O\u2019Connor says.<\/p>\n The time to get a power of attorney is before a dementia diagnosis<\/a>. If that\u2019s not possible, then get one while your parent is still aware enough to sign. \u201cIf you wait too long, they might not have the capacity. Then a power of attorney might no longer be an option and we\u2019re doing the more time consuming, costly, and emotionally draining journey of trying to get guardianship,\u201d says Edmonds.<\/p>\n Her own father refused to get a power of attorney until he had a bad fall and she needed to make medical decisions for him. \u201cUnfortunately, what many families find is that it sometimes takes an emergency situation to get these things in place,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\nWhat is a power of attorney?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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How do you get a power of attorney?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Choosing an agent<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Sooner is better <\/strong><\/h2>\n