When I took the ring to a jeweler to have it resized, the gemologist told me it was a fake \u2014 in fact \u2014 it\u2019s costume jewelry (their words). I was dumbfounded. Is this a new form of evil? I\u2019m trying to come up with a word, but I can\u2019t seem to wrap my finger around it.<\/p>\n
There seems to be a sense of entitlement to my mother-in-law rather than, say, passive-aggressive behavior. She expects VIP service from her family. If she does one nice thing, she will expect the entire world for the next 10 years. What should I do?<\/p>\n
Daughter-in-Law<\/p>\n
Related:<\/strong> \u2018Death and money bring out the worst in people\u2019: My stepmother wants me to relinquish my rights to my late father\u2019s estate. How do I handle this gracefully?<\/a><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Fake diamonds are not a daughter-in-law\u2019s best friend.<\/p>\n A gemologist identifies a fake diamond; a psychologist can detect a fake relationship. You are neither a gemologist nor a psychologist, and yet you appear to be drawing a line between the two. Your mother-in-law either believes it to be real or she misrepresented it as a diamond.<\/p>\n The price of this stone is solely dependent on the value you put on it. It could mean that your mother-in-law is attempting to show her gratitude or, perhaps less likely, that she is using it as a sly commentary on your relationship (\u201cyou, my dear, are as fake as this ring\u201d).<\/p>\n Your mother was right about never holding a grudge. She might also say that \u2014 without evidence to the contrary \u2014 it\u2019s always better to think the best of people, unless you\u2019re dealing with a virtual stranger who is trying to get you to invest in crypto<\/a> or a pushy broker<\/a>.<\/p>\n Lab-made cubic zirconia lacks the natural imperfections of diamonds, according to MIke Fried, CEO of The Diamond Pro<\/a>. \u201cA flawless diamond is incredibly rare and, thus, incredibly expensive.\u201d And cubic zirconia? \u201cThey\u2019re usually considered \u2018too perfect\u2019 or fake-looking.\u201d<\/p>\n Diamonds sparkle and have a higher light-refraction index, he adds. \u201cYou can get cubic zirconia wet, but repeated exposure to water will damage the stone. It\u2019s best to take off cubic zirconia jewelry when doing water-related activities like washing dishes, bathing and swimming.\u201d<\/p>\n In fact, the common method of establishing whether a diamond is real or fake is seeing if it will scratch glass. Your mother-in-law may have tried that, but she may not have been aware that cubic zirconia and quartz also scratch glass, helping them to masquerade as a gemstone.<\/p>\n But there\u2019s a big difference between cubic zirconia and a diamond in price and provenance. The former is a synthesized material and the latter is a precious stone. A three-carat zirconia ring<\/a> could sell for $300, while a three carat diamond could sell for $25,000 to $125,000.<\/p>\n What does all this mean? Diamonds and cubic zirconia may cut glass, but you could cut your mother-in-law some slack. She did a nice thing. If we were all to play Jessica Fletcher or Hercule Poirot, we might discover a re-gift or that an author\u2019s signature on a book is fake.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s assume that this ring was given to your mother-in-law by her husband or by another relative. Is it worth dashing a precious memory of that relationship by revealing that the ring is not a precious stone? Perhaps she was unsure of its provenance, but wanted you to cherish it.<\/p>\n Would you have been just as excited to receive this ring if you knew that it was costume jewelry in advance? Even vintage jewelry can also cost a pretty penny and be faked by unscrupulous retailers, and can be equally beautiful (if not as pricey) as a diamond, ruby or sapphire.\u00a0<\/p>\n Even supposed diamonds and rubies can come with fake certificates of authenticity. Just ask this New York tourist who was allegedly duped into paying $1 million for a range of \u201cvalueless composites<\/a>\u201d of rubies from East Africa with heat treatment and lead-glass clarity enhancement.<\/p>\n Your mother-in-law\u2019s \u201cdiamond\u201d ring is a drop in the ocean. The imitation-jewelry market size is valued at more than $16.7 billion worldwide<\/a> and, of all regions, North America is expected to see the biggest rise in compound annual growth (almost 7%) over the next six years.\u00a0<\/p>\n Jewelry experts say Tiffany, Cartier and Van Cleef are globally recognized brands and much sought after; as such, counterfeiters are keen to copy<\/a> them in the same way as they churn out fake (and often badly made) Gucci , Louis Vuitton Give yourself the VIP treatment and wear your mother-in-law\u2019s ring with as much pomp and pride as if it was the $80 million Wittelsbach-Graff Diamond<\/a>. The biggest myth the diamond industry peddles is that the value of your relationship is reflected in the value of your ring.\u00a0<\/p>\n This ring cost you nothing, but it gave you a 24-carat story.<\/p>\n You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as <\/em><\/strong>Twitter.<\/em><\/strong><\/a>\u00a0<\/p>\n The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell:<\/strong><\/p>\n My friend invited me to a concert at Carnegie Hall. After I agreed, he said, \u2018It would be nice if you took me to dinner.\u2019 Is this normal?<\/a><\/p>\n \u2018Our American dream turned into a nightmare\u2019: I sold my home, but rising interest rates and prices locked me out of the market. What can I do?\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n\n <\/div>
\u201cThe price of this stone is solely dependent on the value you put on it.\u201d<\/h4>\n
\n MarketWatch illustration
\n <\/span>
\n <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/p><\/div>\nDear Daughter-in-Law,<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Diamonds and cubic zirconia can both scratch glass<\/h2>\n
Dashing a precious memory by revealing the ring\u2019s provenance<\/strong><\/h2>\n
The fake jewelry industry is increasingly sophisticated<\/strong><\/h2>\n
\n LVMHF,
\n
\n and Hermes
\n RMS,
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\n luggage.<\/p>\n